1. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you any worse advice.
2. I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.3. Don’t let your mind wander; it’s far too small to be let out on its own.
4. You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you’re doing your best.
5. Pardon me, but you’re obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn
6. If I want shit from you, I’ll squeeze your head.
7. I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your ass.
8. I can tell that you are lying; your lips are moving.
9. He always finds himself lost in thought; it’s unfamiliar territory.
This one's not much of an insult but I still love it:
10. I like dogs too. Let’s exchange recipes.
Source: BillySpinner.com
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